Peace as the sun goes down
The rational part of me knows I am not the only parent to watch her children sleeping, to cross myself in the manner of my earliest prayers and worry half the night about a forthcoming challenge for the child I still remember birthing to the sound of the waves, in front of the fire.
To do all this and be tired and cranky the next day and subject the same beloved children to my short temper.
This afternoon I finally lay down and got some sleep and my perspective has improved so much since then. After dinner I watered the garden, weeded around the parsley, cut back the tansy, noticed the lemon verbena did not die but is thriving, found another pumpkin (tiny but exciting still), ate some tomatoes straight from the plant and transplanted six lettuces.
Back inside and at the computer, I read Wild Crafty's review of the book Eco Colour by India Flint and had a wee squiz at two of the linked sites. I feel completely uplifted by reading this review. Although the knitting in my hands as I read is home spun wool but dyed with commercial dyes, I still felt special in what I am doing. The capelet is growing nicely and is very soothing to knit. I am going to make it for Brighid now, this one. There is enough wool to do another for my little friend whose Nanna spun the wool. I imagine myself knitting it beside her bed when she is in hospital (I'd love it if that turns out not to be necessary but we have been warned that it is very probable) and having it ready to put over her shoulders if she is cold when she is recuperating.
Thank you to everyone who has sent their kind wishes and/or been thinking of Brighid. Tomorrow is an ordinary day, with Brighid's enthusiasm for kindy and the distraction of work for me. It's not so long now until this lack of knowing will lose much of its power - or so we (naturally) hope from the ultrasound and specialist consultation.
To do all this and be tired and cranky the next day and subject the same beloved children to my short temper.
This afternoon I finally lay down and got some sleep and my perspective has improved so much since then. After dinner I watered the garden, weeded around the parsley, cut back the tansy, noticed the lemon verbena did not die but is thriving, found another pumpkin (tiny but exciting still), ate some tomatoes straight from the plant and transplanted six lettuces.
Back inside and at the computer, I read Wild Crafty's review of the book Eco Colour by India Flint and had a wee squiz at two of the linked sites. I feel completely uplifted by reading this review. Although the knitting in my hands as I read is home spun wool but dyed with commercial dyes, I still felt special in what I am doing. The capelet is growing nicely and is very soothing to knit. I am going to make it for Brighid now, this one. There is enough wool to do another for my little friend whose Nanna spun the wool. I imagine myself knitting it beside her bed when she is in hospital (I'd love it if that turns out not to be necessary but we have been warned that it is very probable) and having it ready to put over her shoulders if she is cold when she is recuperating.
Thank you to everyone who has sent their kind wishes and/or been thinking of Brighid. Tomorrow is an ordinary day, with Brighid's enthusiasm for kindy and the distraction of work for me. It's not so long now until this lack of knowing will lose much of its power - or so we (naturally) hope from the ultrasound and specialist consultation.
Comments
Best wishes for Brighid
~Rachael