The flu. In quadruplicate. Don't introduce your children to mine in years to come; we have weak genes.
I'm currently up in the middle of the night because the coughing is less horrible when upright. I'm currently very very grateful for the bed protector which has just saved the big bed from disaster. Our little girl is in with me tonight as she is too sick to sleep alone and, in the manner of small children who are ill and out of their usual body rhythm, I've just had to strip the bed. She had moved the bed protector as she wriggled around trying to sleep as close to me as possible, but by dint of divine grace she was still on the bed protector when she had an accident. Thank you God, The Universe, Everything.
Some pictures from before the fall:
I may post sounding less pathetic some time. I would advise no one to bet money on that though.